So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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