It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
