So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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