Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
