Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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