Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
