It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
