it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
