just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
