You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
