i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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