I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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