You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
