i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
this boner is exhausting
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
