just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
