Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
