So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
