Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
