you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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