I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
