Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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