he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
