I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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