drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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