Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
