Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
