hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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