glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
