haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i drank out of a bidet.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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