Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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