Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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