Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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