I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think people are normalizing furries
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
