i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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