did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
