do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
