chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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