And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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