the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
