you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
