WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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