It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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