Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
