they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
