My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
