You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
