I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Randomize
