bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
