we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
