Kiss
Puke
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
