you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
