Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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