singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
