With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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