Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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