the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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