That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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